almost something insider forum

The forum itself has become an almost something. Day in and day out I have things to say, mostly things as reactions, but I resist the click click click response of the forum because my head cannot fit in this space, the internet. My work for this show, and in general is about need for viscerality in a cyberworld of endless options, endless clickings. I want my options limited. With limitations I find freedom, not the other way around.

So with this space, which I nonetheless find useful and inspiring, I feel confused. I am speaking literally about the almost something forum space and website. Endless possibilities for connection, reaction. The endless vectors as arrows through my brain. Perhaps if we were push-pinning ideas, clippings, sketches to a concrete board, I would find the organization of it and navigation of it less harrowing. I have been thinking a lot lately about internet space, a world where people are meeting and exchanging vitual fluids and virtual art. My hands cannot grasp. There is a chasm. Some days I find this chasm inviting, seductive, worth trying to bridge. But lately, I am slipping through. Blogs by my best friends, websites labored over by my loved ones, internet havens where I can find rare people who share in my rare delights of polyeurathane, pink sweat suits, and ketchup flavored potato chips, and still I cannot take the time to click click click connect.

I feel unsafe and insecure in spaces where I cannot tell where things end and begin. How do I get back to where I started? I feel fractured. The fucking internet is a fucking almost something. Lately I find myself thinking in almost somethings.